I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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