There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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