i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
