I hope mine doesn't look like that
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
