When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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