i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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