She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
