I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
he high fived his dick after we had sex
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
