woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
