dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
