I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I wear drunk well.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
