The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
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Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
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I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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