it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
it was like eating out sand paper
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize