i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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