oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He better not be in your backpack
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Randomize
