I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
