I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
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