its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
