Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
