Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
