this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize