butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
