i think my tv is drunk
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
