he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
