have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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