I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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