My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i just made my gag reflex go away.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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