Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
