Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
