he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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