Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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