Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
The uberlube is also flammable
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I am naked and annoyed.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
