i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
