that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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