the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
