Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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