i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Green mimosas i think yes
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
