she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
