I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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