My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
