I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
My cat gives me a boner
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You took a bar mat shot.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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