i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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