What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
