Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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