My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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