woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
