Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
