Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
