His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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