Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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