Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Randomize
