lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
