I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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