He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
