i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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