there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
