If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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