Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
