I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Randomize
