i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
