weddingsv make me drug and hornr
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
