well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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