im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I don't deserve a penis
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
