Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
