remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I wear drunk well.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
