Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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