He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
