How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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