We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
