Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
