yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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