you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
