At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
