there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize