I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Randomize
